Cruising Single Episode 2: The Ghost
By: Fatima Abubakar & Fatima Zahra Umar
I met Ibrahim in the heat of the dry season. You know how Abuja gets in March ba? That is how his love for me was at first sight. Hot and blazing. He called me every 20 minutes to find out how my day was going. Every day was an adventure with Ibrahim with different trips to different sites yes including several restaurants and places of interest (y’all already know restaurants are my only places of interest). He would come to see me right inside my father’s house- an act I interpreted to mean that he was serious about a future with me. He became a fixture at the house and everybody was happy. He was funny, handsome, suave and religious. I could not believe my luck when he started talking marriage. I allowed myself to relax into his embrace. I silenced the voices in my head doubting him. I opened up. I betrayed myself like say I no get brain.
Ibrahim carried me into a red hot romance that I was not even ready for and then when I eventually became interested my guy disappear like January Salary.
Hmm just as I started getting into the groove of being wooed by this gorgeous Ideal Black Man he disappeared on me. Does this sound familiar? He got me all up in my Celine Dion emotions talmbout falling into you and he stopped taking my calls. He just stopped returning my calls. No explanation no reason, nothing. Just Silence.
For those that do not know, Ghosting is the term used to describe the action of a red hot suitor/boyfriend disappearing without a trace after occupying your life for a short or long period of time.
Back to the story…
Later he reached out, to explain that he got married 6 months after we met. In other words, he was exhausted of cheating with me. Why do men behave like this??? As if that was not enough insult, he asked that we pick up the relationship from where he dropped off since his marriage was now over.
Unfortunately we cannot publish the things I said to him here.
Fast forward to a few years later, I was at a party for my Boss who was celebrating his 50th when this cute gentleman asks me for a dance. He was funny, suave, cosmopolitan and most importantly, NOT Married. That is how I went and started hanging out with this guy. That time my car was a moving write off but I still went to pick up this guy in his office, after he told me he didn’t have a car. I carried this man to Niger Delta Kitchen despite my burnt clutch plate and overheating radiator and paid for his Rice and Beans and fish pepper soup all because I wanted to get to know him.
Yes as usual, this man became a ghost. I called and texted but nothing. The usual cycle. I slapped myself and talked to myself to never let this kind of nonsense happen to me again. Shebi my mates that have stable relationships don’t have two heads.
When i remember that he forced me to buy Barmini Choge CD and sang along to ‘Allah ka bamu nairori’
Couple of months later, I ran into him at my favourite Cafe and shame came to catch him. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was his excuse: ‘I started liking you then I remembered Na fara nisa da Neman aure a wani wuri’. Imagine the Audacity, after chopping my five thousand naira! Bunkum
I have heard many excuses but this one took the prize!
Here is my advice: next time a nigga ghost you, play Beyonce’s ‘Irreplaceable’ on repeat till 11pm and delete his number. When you wake up in the morning, look at your beautiful face in the mirror and warn yourself never ever to allow any ghosts into your life.
If all else fails, Recite Aya Kursiyy regularly because I heard ghosts are allergic to it.